What Do Women Want?

What do women want? It’s a question that has stumped many. Hollywood is particularly enthralled with this idea of woman as an enigma that can never be truly understood. This of course stands as evidence that women have complex and intricate souls while men are primitive beasts. But… that’s a dream. Contrary to popular thought, women aren’t that difficult to understand.

What many women (and men) fail to realize is that women crave a loving man’s authority. In most situations, we thrive when we are given precise instructions on how to complete a given task. We need guidance and direction from a source outside of ourselves. When we don’t have this, we are miserable.

Consider the scene from, The Notebook, when Noah is passionately demanding a decision from Ally, repeatedly asking, “What do you want?!” Clearly, she has no idea.

Consider also the scene from P.S. I Love You where Daniel is asking Holly what women want. She replies in a whisper that, “We have absolutely no idea what we want.” 

Everyone – even Hollywood – knows women don’t know what they want. I would suggest that this is because our society no longer treats the Scriptures as a basis for knowledge. The Bible puts women under the headship and protection of men precisely because, without them, we don’t know what we want.

This is a reality we can’t escape from, as it goes all the way back to the garden. Eve was created specifically for Adam; his wants are her wants. On the other hand, without a man, a woman has a sense of purposelessness. A woman alone does not know what she wants. However, a woman with a man to follow, doesn’t have to worry about what she wants. She wants what he wants, of course.

So how are we to answer the question of “What does a woman want?” Simply like this: a woman most deeply wants to be told what to want. She doesn’t want to have to figure out what to want. She wants a man that she trusts and can follow without worrying about what she wants. Does he want it? Then, she wants it. He has his sights set on the future, she has her sights set on him. This is the beauty of God-created gender roles, and in this sense, men and women are truly complementary. She is his helper perfectly suited to him. 

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